Quote #13, Don't die on me...

"Dude, if I get home and I find out that you died, I'm gonna be pissed." - Jason George

Quote #12, I just hate Scrabble...

"Just the idea of having letters, and having to make words out of them, like, WHO came up with that as a game, and WHY is it supposed to be fun?" - Monica Brenton

Quote #11, Let's look at the bright side of things, here...

"It's a good thing I had a bag of Marijuana instead of a bag of spinach. I'd be dead by now." - Willie Nelson

Quote #10, Let's just change this to "Bari's Quote of the Day"...

"Put your knife away, you're on drugs." - Bari House

Quote #9, Next time you go to Fayetteville for a concert, just remember...

"It's Arkansas. That's all I'm gonna say." - Jamie McGaugh

Quote #8, How the commercials have changed...

"Man, they had the BEST commercials in the 90's. Now they're all about beer and genital herpes." - Amber Campagna

Quote #7, He moves in mysterious ways...

"God spoke to Balaam through his ass... I believe God still speaks through asses today...so if God should choose to speak through you, you needn't think too highly of yourself." - Rich Mullins

Quote #6, God must have spent a little less time...

"I was just thinking...could that face be any uglier?" - Kerry Garrick

Quote #5, For everyone who thought football was manly...

"American Football- a bunch of big nancy boys running around aimlessly with padding on. They can't even stay on the field for more than 3 minutes at a time!" - Nigel James

Quote #4, My body don't quite move like Justin Timberlake's...

“…she ain’t Bringing Sexy Back because of Beth Moore, damn her! However, David Crowder IS Bringing Sexy Back.” – Bari House

Quote #3, Don't give me no girly man...

"If I were attracted to girly men, I'd just be a lesbian and be done with it." - Traci Ward

Quote #2, Give Laos the weiner contest...

"You know, Bill, America doesn't need to win every dang thing to be great. We've got the Constitution, two George Bushes, great toilets -- hell, we've played golf on the moon. I guess we can let Laos have a stupid wiener contest, can't we?" - Hank Hill

Quote #1, Endorsing Crest Whitestrips

“Do me a favor and get her some Crest Whitestrips, cause that really bothers me.” – Kendell Winters